Saturday, April 11, 2009

Divorce and Marriage and the non-randomness of the universe

So, I got married again. I don't know though that the first marriage counts. We were only married about 10 months until he found another woman, the wife of a millionaire, and ran off with her. We had been together for 11 years before he asked me to marry him. That "marriage" just doesn't count. This marriage does count. For all of you out there wondering if, doubting if, your soul mate exists, the answer is yes. Or, at least, mine certainly does and he is lying down in the other room with a bad cold.

It's odd, to say the least, how this universe works. What seems to be the worst of things mutates into the best of things (and of course vice versa as well). My good friend Carin came by last night for dinner and we got to talking about this very subject. We both have a mutual friend (ok, so he's a mutual ex-boyfriend who is still good friends with us both) who is a firm believer in a person creating their own reality. According to his philosophy, what happens to you, the people in your life, the things you experience, are all there because you drew those things to yourself. You are to credit or to blame for your reality. There is for sure an amount of accuracy to this. Certainly, the way I am living my life and the people I have in it, I chose. It and they were not random. However, and this is where Carin and I depart from Steve's philosophy. There is also something beyond us that acts. We create, but other forces do too. Sometimes that is to our destruction via a tidal wave or a hurricane, sometimes that is too our benefit. When it is to our benefit, it is then that it seems to be quite personal.

For example, if Billy, my ex-husband, had not run off with the millionaire's wife, I would never have met David, my soul mate and twin. I would never have cheated on Billy or left him, even though he was a rather abusive manipulative person (this doesn't say much for me). I truly believe the universe (or god or creator or...) removed that toxic individual because I was just not getting it and I wasn't removing myself from that situation. Someone(s) was/were looking out for me despite myself. Because of that I am now with my beloved one.

This is probably the greatest mystery of life. We seem to be so very alone, as if all were up to us and so very not alone, as if nothing were up to us. Clearly it seems there are hands on the other side. Why they choose to come through when they do is a mystery that cannot be solved in this dimension. Just before I walked into the bar where I was to meet my beloved David I had the thought, which I've never had before or since, that said to me I was about to meet the beloved one of my life. I laughed inside my brain at the absurdity. It turned out to be true though. I can't explain it, but it happened.

I'd love to hear what others think on this. Randomness (a plane goes down, a flu epidemic, etc..) vs. non-randomness (a miraculous person to save the day, a serendipitous happening, etc..). Both seem equally weighted, equally true.

My thoughts, I'm glad it is not all up to me. Sometimes greater forces than me know much better.

1 comment:

Kathy T said...

Randomness and non-randomness two sides of the the hand, yin yang, cannot have one without the other. Do we create the storms or are they a random act of nature? Do we all have a soul mate or is that too a random act of nature? Does it make life more precious believing that it is all some random act of everything being in the right place at the right time to create a planet on which life thrives? Does it make life more precious to believe that some force has a hand in the cosmic pot and stirs it now and again to create something? Is the Universe personal or does it just do it's thing and we happen to be in the midst of it all?

Soul mates: I love the idea of meeting my soul mate, that one person who gets me and I get him; life flows and even through the rough spots there is always a mutual je ne se qua (I don't know what)that always holds you together. I have yet to experience that. I love it when people do. I believe it is rare and when people do meet their soul mate it is a precious thing.