Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Death of Michael Jackson

I never liked pop, but I must admit, I loved Michael Jackson. He charmed me, he fascinated me. At least to a point. As a child and teen and early 20’s, he was magical. He glittered. He whirled and seemed the perfect mix of confidence and vulnerability. He had an incredibly beautiful voice, was a wonderful dancer, and seemed shy and sweet and good. The world was better for his presence.

As he aged, he got weird; we all know that. I suppose it was from having such a wacko childhood. He changed. He became a caricature. The real person disappeared. Chimpanzees, the Elephant Man's bones, pedophilia, endless plastic surgery, the sweet kid died. In fact, I think Michael Jackson died at least a decade and a half ago, just no one would admit it, including him.

Was it his fault? Did he give into fame? Did it go to his head?

Stupid questions. When one deposits a normal, sensitive, sweet, person, whatever their talent, into the fishbowl of craziness that he had to swim in, the only question that makes sense is why he didn’t die decades ago. He should have. Any normal person would have under such scrutiny.

What an odd society we now have. Never before has any individual be able to be under such scrutiny. Obama farts, and it’s on Twitter; one Jonas brother picks his nose and it is instantly seen on TMZ, or the like.

Having all awareness is not always good. It does not necessarily give insight, wisdom, or really, knowledge itself. It skews the truth as much as silence does. It enables quick judgment on an entire being by soundbites-or really visual bites. Go ahead, as an experiment, pick one sentence of this blog and define me by it. Examine it. Analyze it. Define me by that one sentence.

If you do so, you know nothing about me.

If someone were to do so to you, they’d know nothing about you.

What a useless exercise!!! Yet that is what the media does continually. It doesn’t matter if it is FOX, or ABC, or TMZ. All that matters is that the person’s name be known. That narrows it down to: politician, actor, musician, sports person.

This is exactly what is happening to Judge Sotomayor at present. Sure, take one sentence and define the person’s life. What idiocy! What arrogance and ignorance!

I didn’t intend this particular blog to become a rant against the media and technology. Obviously it has become so.

So here is my thought of the night. For all our technology, for all of our ability to immediately “know” things, we are no better off than we were 200 years ago. Sure, we hear more, but we really know less. And, our abilities now to “know” damage the very persons we want to “know” about to the point that such penetration into their existence warps and kills them one way or another.

And so, today Michael Jackson died. Why? I’ll let you answer.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Divorce and Marriage and the non-randomness of the universe

So, I got married again. I don't know though that the first marriage counts. We were only married about 10 months until he found another woman, the wife of a millionaire, and ran off with her. We had been together for 11 years before he asked me to marry him. That "marriage" just doesn't count. This marriage does count. For all of you out there wondering if, doubting if, your soul mate exists, the answer is yes. Or, at least, mine certainly does and he is lying down in the other room with a bad cold.

It's odd, to say the least, how this universe works. What seems to be the worst of things mutates into the best of things (and of course vice versa as well). My good friend Carin came by last night for dinner and we got to talking about this very subject. We both have a mutual friend (ok, so he's a mutual ex-boyfriend who is still good friends with us both) who is a firm believer in a person creating their own reality. According to his philosophy, what happens to you, the people in your life, the things you experience, are all there because you drew those things to yourself. You are to credit or to blame for your reality. There is for sure an amount of accuracy to this. Certainly, the way I am living my life and the people I have in it, I chose. It and they were not random. However, and this is where Carin and I depart from Steve's philosophy. There is also something beyond us that acts. We create, but other forces do too. Sometimes that is to our destruction via a tidal wave or a hurricane, sometimes that is too our benefit. When it is to our benefit, it is then that it seems to be quite personal.

For example, if Billy, my ex-husband, had not run off with the millionaire's wife, I would never have met David, my soul mate and twin. I would never have cheated on Billy or left him, even though he was a rather abusive manipulative person (this doesn't say much for me). I truly believe the universe (or god or creator or...) removed that toxic individual because I was just not getting it and I wasn't removing myself from that situation. Someone(s) was/were looking out for me despite myself. Because of that I am now with my beloved one.

This is probably the greatest mystery of life. We seem to be so very alone, as if all were up to us and so very not alone, as if nothing were up to us. Clearly it seems there are hands on the other side. Why they choose to come through when they do is a mystery that cannot be solved in this dimension. Just before I walked into the bar where I was to meet my beloved David I had the thought, which I've never had before or since, that said to me I was about to meet the beloved one of my life. I laughed inside my brain at the absurdity. It turned out to be true though. I can't explain it, but it happened.

I'd love to hear what others think on this. Randomness (a plane goes down, a flu epidemic, etc..) vs. non-randomness (a miraculous person to save the day, a serendipitous happening, etc..). Both seem equally weighted, equally true.

My thoughts, I'm glad it is not all up to me. Sometimes greater forces than me know much better.