So, I got married again. I don't know though that the first marriage counts. We were only married about 10 months until he found another woman, the wife of a millionaire, and ran off with her. We had been together for 11 years before he asked me to marry him. That "marriage" just doesn't count. This marriage does count. For all of you out there wondering if, doubting if, your soul mate exists, the answer is yes. Or, at least, mine certainly does and he is lying down in the other room with a bad cold.
It's odd, to say the least, how this universe works. What seems to be the worst of things mutates into the best of things (and of course vice versa as well). My good friend Carin came by last night for dinner and we got to talking about this very subject. We both have a mutual friend (ok, so he's a mutual ex-boyfriend who is still good friends with us both) who is a firm believer in a person creating their own reality. According to his philosophy, what happens to you, the people in your life, the things you experience, are all there because you drew those things to yourself. You are to credit or to blame for your reality. There is for sure an amount of accuracy to this. Certainly, the way I am living my life and the people I have in it, I chose. It and they were not random. However, and this is where Carin and I depart from Steve's philosophy. There is also something beyond us that acts. We create, but other forces do too. Sometimes that is to our destruction via a tidal wave or a hurricane, sometimes that is too our benefit. When it is to our benefit, it is then that it seems to be quite personal.
For example, if Billy, my ex-husband, had not run off with the millionaire's wife, I would never have met David, my soul mate and twin. I would never have cheated on Billy or left him, even though he was a rather abusive manipulative person (this doesn't say much for me). I truly believe the universe (or god or creator or...) removed that toxic individual because I was just not getting it and I wasn't removing myself from that situation. Someone(s) was/were looking out for me despite myself. Because of that I am now with my beloved one.
This is probably the greatest mystery of life. We seem to be so very alone, as if all were up to us and so very not alone, as if nothing were up to us. Clearly it seems there are hands on the other side. Why they choose to come through when they do is a mystery that cannot be solved in this dimension. Just before I walked into the bar where I was to meet my beloved David I had the thought, which I've never had before or since, that said to me I was about to meet the beloved one of my life. I laughed inside my brain at the absurdity. It turned out to be true though. I can't explain it, but it happened.
I'd love to hear what others think on this. Randomness (a plane goes down, a flu epidemic, etc..) vs. non-randomness (a miraculous person to save the day, a serendipitous happening, etc..). Both seem equally weighted, equally true.
My thoughts, I'm glad it is not all up to me. Sometimes greater forces than me know much better.